Our little blog died a death.

To conclude:

IT HOIRTS!

Rule: A beard makes you infinitely more manly.



Exception: WHEN YOU CRY ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Oh, man up, Jack! You're reminding me of a baby with overactive follicles.

Fashion Strike: is Snow White missing a dwarf?

God love Paul Rudd. When HE cares about something, he doesn’t simply recycle ‘Candle in the Wind’ for the next dead blonde, he uses every weapon in his arsenal to rally support for the cause. Here we see him battling single-handedly for world peace screaming “hey World, no more smooth face cheeks for you till all you countries have a little chat and get these silly wars over with"

Truly inspirational.

Let's Passover This One.

It was only a matter of time before we addressed the ultimate fall from baby faced grace: Joaquin Phoenix's grizzled phase. Even these hair-loving harpies have their limits.



Extreme bad clothing in the form of groin splits, with hats barely containing the hair volcano beneath really do cross a line into pretty grody territory. It's just too authentically 'hey, i haven't washed this month and, yeah, I know it's the 31st'.

I can handle him wanting to be a rapper because DOESN'T EVERYONE? But can't he just subtly hoik at his groin occasionally whilst talking about the bitches from the ghetto being all "Hey homie, I'll blow through your crew like you guys blow through deadlines"? Does it really have to be breaking free from his denim like it's frickin' ashamed to be attached?

I guess it's like Moses said. "LET MY PEEPEE GO"

Did he leave his beard in the washer too?

… and just when Obi-Wan thought he had enough problems (what with that pesky Womp Rat infestation and all and oh, that small matter of an intergalactic war) , he then accidentally left a chocolate brown boot in with his whites. Oh, the shame! Maybe he could pass it off as trying a new look? Come on, ‘Fawn’ COULD be the ‘it’ colour of ‘a long time ago, in a galaxy far away’. If not, Obi, just stare all FIERCE into the middle distance and no-one will notice. Don’t force it though. (LOL FORCE! Geddit?)

You can't be clean shaven at a time like this!

It's awesome when a tv character goes through a bout of angst. Wah! Immediately that actor's clothing budget is slashed by at least 80% and he's required to cease shaving for the indefinite future.

I will stick with shows through the aftermath of the 'exciting' plot moments purely chanting "come on, come onnnn" during the next episode until BOOM! Yes. There's a beard. I bloody knew there'd be a beard.



It's not enough to wonder "Hey, Nathan Petrelli may be going through a little mental anguish seeing how his brother just exploded." You need the visual indicator that he suddenly looks like a complete and utter bum.

NO BEARD = NO EMOTIONAL PAIN.
Thems the rules.

The word 'crusty' needs to come to mind and fellow actors should stand a little further from him in the frame, not so much because we're supposed to think his character is unstable and might flip out at any point, but more because he probably smells a little bad.

Creative Writing, James?

Far away from the predictable plaid of his ‘Freaks and Geeks’ fame, little evidence remains of James’ earlier ‘superhero phase’. Though some might query his choice of white, fashionistas predict capes will be BIG BEANS in Spring 2010. Evidently, it wasn’t only his quiff that was forward thinking.

THE BALL IS ROLLING

Most people would try to look rather spry at parties for their latest films.

Ryan Gosling just wears that old jacket of his that turned up in a bag at the back of the wardrobe. 'How did it end up there?' he wondered, perhaps even asking aloud to a girlfriend who looks rather guilty for, I'm sure, totally unrelated reasons.

Accessorised with fingerless gloves that he's probably had since he worked in the freezer section of a Walmart, he's good to go.

THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.

So, what exactly are we doing here?

Systematically tracking down the best kind of men, that's what.

Long has a fixation been held by me and my pals for the kinda goofy, badly attired, overly follicled and SUPREMELY AWESOME variety of boy rarely appreciated to their fullest by the female of the species.

Well, only by the wisest.

This is because we know that beneath those layers of op shop puffer gilet and cereal magnet facial hair is probably something genuinely magnificent protecting itself from not just society's expectations, but the motherfuckin' cold, mate.

So hiya, blog! You're gonna be a good 'un and you're probably just for us.